Let Go of My Ego

Douglas Adams, one of my all-time author faves, wrote this line in The Hitchhiker’s Guild to the Galaxy: “I’d far rather be happy than right any day.” That insightful thought stuck with me the first time I read it. (The second and fourth time, too. Third time was during a tequila daze, and memory lapses were common.)

Being happy is an exceptional state of mind. Happy is something that makes you wag your tail. It’s also something you can share, like a disease. Happy is contagious.

Being right, well,…it’s a momentary feel-good, and that usually means someone else is wrong and left feeling miserable. Plus, the act of proving right takes a type of vindictive effort, with the reward only shared with your own pride.

I agree with Mr. Adams; I’d rather be happy.

Adams also wrote in his Galaxy tome, “If there’s anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.” Brilliant line, but it brings up a question I wish to expound upon: What is more important to a creative soul, happiness or a fulfilled ego?

Let’s consider the ego. It’s an important part of imaginative expression, like fuel to get from inspiration to execution. 

All artists carry egos around in their tool bag, myself included. Whether I design a logo, paint a weird creature, or write a short story plucked from my psyche, my efforts justify adding the creation to my bag o’ ego. Time, love, sweat,…I nurtured the thing, so I am proud of it. My ego will defend it, and if another’s reasoning finds fault with my baby, my happy gets kicked to the curb.

As an art gigolo, part of my job is to sell a concept. Example: Knowing that a lightning bolt is a stronger graphic to use for a client’s electrician brand than the butterfly imagery they really want to use. My ego has a difficult time embracing and fulfilling their desires.

In the end, I want the client to be happy and I want to get paid, which makes me happy, even if it makes me feel like a used rag.

So, maybe I compromise and make a butterfly mark with electric imagery flowing within its wings. Happy, happy.

I’ve learned through my graphic profession that when creating something for someone else, it’s my ego that needs to be kicked to the curb, or at least tied up in a bag of compromise.

Writing, though, I initially didn’t do for others. Expressing the thoughts and visions in my head onto pages has been for me. The experience is akin to uncurling a demon from my soul. Writing helps me maintain a cheerful spirit. A safe ego boost.

But now, adding the element of publishing opens a new door for my ego beast to pass through my emotional defenses. I’ve added you guys, my readers, as a last check on a list of other peeper’s opinions. Beta-readers, editors, friends, family, writing groups—everyone is going to offer opinions, many of which I appreciate. Many of them piss me off—especially if I know they’re right.

Feedback is good. In fact, it’s necessary to improve my writing.

After many a critique, I’ve sat down in front of my keyboard to scream at my monitor, “But that’s a wonderful line!” Then, after a meditative breath, I allow the bluebird of happiness to dump a load on my pride. I am learning how to take a punch, or a slaughter, and come back singing, “Zip-a-dee-doo-dah,” as I delete or add words.

The writing makes me happy. Not everything I pen may bring a smile to a reader’s face. It may pucker lips with distaste, bulge eyes in fear, or even cause angry scowls. If that is my intent, then yes, you (as the reader) experience those reactions, and I continue tapping the keyboard with a joyous heart. But knowing my writing induces some response will only make me better.

So, why are we here? Me writing and posting this blog. You reading it?

I’m wanting to share my happy with you. In return, I want you to share your thoughts, feelings, and opinions with me about my writing. Writing is nothing new to me, but posting and publishing are. I am embracing the idea that taking my private tap taps on the keyboard to a public venue means learning to listen. Develop a relationship with youse guys, hoping my writing is something you enjoy and look forward to.

If it is (or isn’t), please leave a comment below. If you haven’t already, join m’crew and stay notified when I’ve unleashed new babblings from my brain.

Ego be damned. Your feedback is important. Positive, negative—it’s all good because I learn about what makes you happy.

And that makes me a happy Hook.